To some of you this post will restate the obvious. To some of you, this post will make no sense. But some of you will find this post enlightening. So if you're in that third group, this post is for you.
Guys like girls. Girls like guys. But they can't just meet each other and start romantic relationships. There's a whole game they need to play first. I don't know the rules of the game, but the main idea is that you can't say what you mean.
Now, when you meet someone and there's no chance of any romance developing, you're excused from that whole game. You're allowed to be yourself. A girl can buy a guy a coke. A guy doesn't need to act like Mister Cool. This is what the pick-up artists warn against: the worst place to be, they say, is in a girl's "friend zone." You'll stay "just friends" forever and never get the real sechoirah ("merchandise"). But I don't care. The friend zone happens to coincide with my comfort zone.
VD"L
In unrelated news, I've had ads on the blog for the past two days, and I already made one cent! Soon I'll be rich!
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e, I don't want this to come out in a way that's too blunt, but: I hate those ads, everyone probably does. If you don't get rid of them I'll come over to your computer and delete them for you.
ReplyDelete*ahem*, anyway..in regards to you getting some sechoirah: In my comparisons between the Ultra-Orthodox and Modern-Orthodox ways of doing things, I've noticed that in the latter, there are sometimes groups of guys and girls that know each other from high school, in yeshiva/seminary in Israel and then in college, and their group comradary doesn't seem to subtract from their ability to become romantically interested in each other..
I mean, there is, of course, always the possibility of ending up in a Jerry-Elaine (Seinfeld) type situation, or a "Friends" situation (as in the TV show. I don't know much about the show, but I think it had similar situations to that of Seinfeld)...
this brings up the whole issue of platonic relationships. i have some friends who do not believe that they exist. in their minds, in any interaction between two straight people of opposite genders, there is some element of sexual attraction, or perhaps sexual awareness is a more suitable term.
ReplyDeleteother people see no issue - guys, girls, dogs, what have you, we can all be friends.
i take the middle road. yes, its possible to have a friend of the opposite gender. it's also possible that having friends of opposite genders can lead to issues of one-sided feelings, or mutual feelings developing and all kinds of chaos ensuing that rarely ends well.
so enter into your opposite gender friendships with caution.
about Friends - do you know how many of them slept with each other? basically everyone except ross and monica, and that's because they were related.
Hahaha all the ads on this post are about dating...
ReplyDeleteSo hmm.
It's (well, it was) spring, and love is in the air!
ReplyDeleteShriki: the ads are probably gonna go, because I doubt they'll bring in much money.
ReplyDeleteYou don't believe in the "friend zone"? Oh. I'll have to tell my pick up artist friend that he's wrong.
Cheerio: Your view sounds nice and moderate. (All of you out there don't get the joke. [Cheerio, I'm learning the art of making inside jokes in public.])
le7: and on the Coco post I saw something about 42 being the answer. These ads add a whole new dimension of quirkiness to this glorious blog.
trs: indeed.....
If you want to know what's on someone's mind, just ask. I think if pressed, most people will tell the truth and not play little games.
ReplyDeleteGuys like girls. Girls like guys.
ReplyDeleteDarn straight (straight being the key word, mind you...)
e: What the hell is the friend zone?
ReplyDeletesarabonne: More humorous than the others (your remark, that is).
sarahbonne...really; straight??...can't we mix it up a bit here?
ReplyDeletemims: i suppose you know better than me.
ReplyDeletesarah: :)
Shriki: http://lmgtfy.com/?q=friend+zone
mims: not if you fear the lord you can't.
e: Whoah. How'd you do that link? It actually types the words into Google and searches for you. And it kind of calls you a retard for not doing it yourself!
ReplyDeleteAnyway, I see what you're talking about now. Based on the Wikipedia article (thank G-d for Wikipedia!), I feel that, like Cheerio said, it is in fact possible to break out of the friend zone (due to innate attractions), especially, I feel, among Orthodox Jews, among whom the existance such a zone is a bit more illusory than among "goyim"..
Go to lmgtfy.com (stands for "let me google that for you") and you can start making other people feel like retards! Join the fun!
ReplyDelete"when harry met sally", anyone? e, you've got to see it, it's a classic
ReplyDeletefeeling ugly? meet beautiful girls. you'll never feel ugly again.
ReplyDeleteha haha hahahahahaha. ya, like thats gonna happen.
i think im a mix of all the groups.
a)thisd is something i know abt
b) i believe its true, in a certain sense. u CAN get stuck in the friends zone, without getting out, and a lot of times one or both will still have attractive feelings, much more than just friends.
c) it also makes no sense to me.
and i'm never really 'enlightened'. it sounds like being struck by lightening, and id rather not.
not if i fear the lord? oy vey. fear is not the problem. love is.
ReplyDeleteIf you love the lord you also can't. Sorry lady. It's tough being Jewish.
ReplyDeletelike i didn't figure that out 4 years ago. i still believe in mixing it up. haha so there! i'm in so much trouble.
ReplyDeleteare you publicly admitting to dabbling in lesbianism?
ReplyDeletelol-no, more like i think things aren't necessarily limited to certain restrictions.
ReplyDeletei.e. what ?
ReplyDeleteMy New Orleans’s rabbi’s father (himself a rabbi in New Orleans) once said: The only platonic relationship that can exist between a man and a woman is that between a husband and a wife.
ReplyDeletethat doesnt sound good.
ReplyDeleteyeah that doesn't
ReplyDeleteC’est la vie (if true — which I am not sure about).
ReplyDeleteI think this was an answer to a question about shomer negiah, etc. Also, it was more from the man’s perspective (i.e., it is perfectly possible — or at least easier — for a woman to have platonic [lack of] feelings to a man).
(Also, it was a joke.)
ReplyDeleteThat a husband/wife relationship would be platonic doesn't sound so good.
ReplyDeleteOverall, I agree. But that was neither his nor mine point.
ReplyDeleteweird comparison, but definitly agree abt the platonic part. the ppl who say it is possible to be friends with a guy and not possibly have feeling are fooling themselves
ReplyDelete