Saturday, April 30, 2011

The Saddest Six-Word Story Ever Told: A Contest

In the comments, share the saddest story you can tell using six words or fewer. After a few days, I'll tell you a super-sad six-word story my sister-in-law told me over Pesach. We can vote on whose story is the saddest.

71 comments:

  1. 7th-Day AdventistApril 30, 2011 at 1:45 PM

    Death, destruction, mayhem, eternal fire: Armageddon.

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  2. Rising seas, arctic deserts, carbon monoxide.

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  3. Missed the sale and paid retail

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  4. Post-seder, cookie found in charoses.

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  5. Continuum Hypothesis will never be proved.

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  6. Another day. Messiah is not here.

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  7. Cats don't respond to my affections.

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  8. And the pigeons are still here.

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  9. cats and pigeons show mutual affection.

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  10. For sale: Baby shoes, never used

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  11. Suicide note is marked return to sender.

    Mom screamed. Boy screamed. Orphan born.

    He loved her enough to pretend otherwise.

    Born. Schooled. Worked. Died. Never lived.

    I still make coffee for two.

    House for sale: memories not included.

    Indian immigrant: taxi driver with MD.

    My father still has my virginity.

    Dinner for one, martinis for two.

    "Suicide hotline" "hello?" "hel..." "Suicide hotline"

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  12. anon 11:54 - what's with all the suicide.

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  13. Arbeit Macht Frei

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  14. While AMF is only three words, in light of it: German vacation to Waldsee. Back soon!

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  15. Awm got the one my sister-in-law told me! that story is attributed Ernest Hemingway. www.snopes.com/language/literary/babyshoes.asp

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  16. Waldsee?

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Waldsee

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  17. e: I didn't realize this was a contest.

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  18. trs: can you read the title?

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  19. Observe that the last sentence of the post, "We can vote on whose story is the saddest," was not included in the version you received via email.

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  20. When Hungarian Jews arrived in Auschwitz-Berkenau - ostensibly for a temporary (three day?) relocation. Upon arriving they were asked to send postcards home reassuring their loved ones that everything was ok. They were told to say they had come to Waldsee

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  21. the rules say six words or fewer.May 1, 2011 at 8:56 PM

    more problematically, it's not a sad story.

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  22. It depends what your eyes have been opened to . . . it may indeed be very sad! (As in "My innocence has been lost")

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  23. Snob! Who? The real shliach. Agreed.

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  24. When the real shliach is called a snob, it is a sad day indeed.

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  25. I Only laugh on the outside

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  26. Love at first sight. Never meet.

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  27. Unwanted Boy grows into Wanted man

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  28. survived concentration camps, killed by chocolate

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  29. survived cancer, run over by truck

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  30. escapes germany, no country accepts, returns

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  31. Waiting For Godot

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  32. Jewish History

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  33. Anon: Are you the same dolt who was posting those math "riddles" around a month ago?

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  34. I guess you're not. You can read the other anon's antics at http://eholdsforth.blogspot.com/2011/03/mathematically-proven-fact-accelerate.html

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  35. nope thats me

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  36. Watch your words, anonMay 5, 2011 at 7:02 PM

    Reread what you wrote. Is it you, or is it not you?

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  37. Are you the one?

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  38. watch your words, anonMay 6, 2011 at 12:04 AM

    Of course not.

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  39. Watch your words, anonMay 6, 2011 at 10:25 AM

    But then again, I am.

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  40. watch your words, anonMay 6, 2011 at 11:52 AM

    As am I...

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  41. Oh Shut up and get of my blog!

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  42. Wow! The impersonators are really getting involved. Just note that http://www.blogger.com/profile/17882436174054578303 is not http://www.blogger.com/profile/04376537400767851942

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  43. To the impersonator: How did you get 230 profile views in less than six days?

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  44. certainly a prize awaits me

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  45. Fine Let's vote. I vote for AwM's

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  46. I actually vote for first anon's "I still make coffee for two"

    it is very poignant, because it not only captures the reality of death, but also captures the sadness and emptiness of the survivor...
    Also, it punctuates the loneliness of the survivor. Only one left, yet clinging to the last, the second...

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  47. Why do you feel censored?

    Anyway, I just made a poll with (almost) all the contest entries. You are all invited to vote.

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  48. having looked into it, it seems the blogger service suffered a major crash recently, and with the crash some posts disappeared.

    apparently this affected my last comment here and your last comment...
    http://bit.ly/jlyd7Q

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  49. Oh well. so just for the record, I voted for "Baby shoes for sale, never worn," and AWM voted for "i still make coffee for two."

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  50. AWM: You assumed too much- maybe the couple just broke up?

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  51. Trs: perhaps that's been daddee

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  52. Stupid autocorrect: perhaps that's even sadder

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  53. poll closed. anon won the contest.

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  54. sigh, this is what happens when I forget to subscribe.

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  55. Sad Jewish Girl blogs at http://unconsummated.blogspot.com

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  56. Hey anon, stop stealing my show.

    http://shomernegiah.blogspot.com/

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  57. Anon II: You're story is very sad, but Anon I's is much more gripping. Sorry.

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Forth shall ye all hold.