Saturday, April 30, 2011

The Saddest Six-Word Story Ever Told: A Contest

In the comments, share the saddest story you can tell using six words or fewer. After a few days, I'll tell you a super-sad six-word story my sister-in-law told me over Pesach. We can vote on whose story is the saddest.
Posted by at

71 comments:

  1. 7th-Day AdventistApril 30, 2011 at 1:45 PM

    Death, destruction, mayhem, eternal fire: Armageddon.

    ReplyDelete
  2. AlgoreApril 30, 2011 at 1:46 PM

    Rising seas, arctic deserts, carbon monoxide.

    ReplyDelete
  3. JAPApril 30, 2011 at 1:48 PM

    Missed the sale and paid retail

    ReplyDelete
  4. YidApril 30, 2011 at 1:50 PM

    Post-seder, cookie found in charoses.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Georg CantorApril 30, 2011 at 1:55 PM

    Continuum Hypothesis will never be proved.

    ReplyDelete
  6. DetroitApril 30, 2011 at 1:56 PM

    Another day. Messiah is not here.

    ReplyDelete
  7. bonneApril 30, 2011 at 8:57 PM

    Cats don't respond to my affections.

    ReplyDelete
  8. bonneApril 30, 2011 at 8:57 PM

    And the pigeons are still here.

    ReplyDelete
  9. sadder yetApril 30, 2011 at 9:18 PM

    cats and pigeons show mutual affection.

    ReplyDelete
  10. AwnApril 30, 2011 at 11:20 PM

    For sale: Baby shoes, never used

    ReplyDelete
  11. AnonymousApril 30, 2011 at 11:54 PM

    Suicide note is marked return to sender.

    Mom screamed. Boy screamed. Orphan born.

    He loved her enough to pretend otherwise.

    Born. Schooled. Worked. Died. Never lived.

    I still make coffee for two.

    House for sale: memories not included.

    Indian immigrant: taxi driver with MD.

    My father still has my virginity.

    Dinner for one, martinis for two.

    "Suicide hotline" "hello?" "hel..." "Suicide hotline"

    ReplyDelete
  12. MottelMay 1, 2011 at 12:55 AM

    anon 11:54 - what's with all the suicide.

    ReplyDelete
  13. AnonymousMay 1, 2011 at 11:36 AM

    Arbeit Macht Frei

    ReplyDelete
  14. MottelMay 1, 2011 at 12:55 PM

    While AMF is only three words, in light of it: German vacation to Waldsee. Back soon!

    ReplyDelete
  15. eMay 1, 2011 at 5:19 PM

    Awm got the one my sister-in-law told me! that story is attributed Ernest Hemingway. www.snopes.com/language/literary/babyshoes.asp

    ReplyDelete
  16. eMay 1, 2011 at 5:21 PM

    Waldsee?

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Waldsee

    ReplyDelete
  17. Just like a guyMay 1, 2011 at 7:09 PM

    e: I didn't realize this was a contest.

    ReplyDelete
  18. eMay 1, 2011 at 7:14 PM

    trs: can you read the title?

    ReplyDelete
  19. eMay 1, 2011 at 7:15 PM

    Observe that the last sentence of the post, "We can vote on whose story is the saddest," was not included in the version you received via email.

    ReplyDelete
  20. MottelMay 1, 2011 at 8:34 PM

    When Hungarian Jews arrived in Auschwitz-Berkenau - ostensibly for a temporary (three day?) relocation. Upon arriving they were asked to send postcards home reassuring their loved ones that everything was ok. They were told to say they had come to Waldsee

    ReplyDelete
  21. Just like a guyMay 1, 2011 at 8:49 PM

    My eyes have been opened.

    ReplyDelete
  22. MottelMay 1, 2011 at 8:49 PM

    -TRS: That's only 5 words

    ReplyDelete
  23. the rules say six words or fewer.May 1, 2011 at 8:56 PM

    more problematically, it's not a sad story.

    ReplyDelete
  24. MottelMay 1, 2011 at 8:57 PM

    It depends what your eyes have been opened to . . . it may indeed be very sad! (As in "My innocence has been lost")

    ReplyDelete
  25. Just like a guyMay 1, 2011 at 9:01 PM

    I wasn't joining the contest.

    ReplyDelete
  26. eMay 1, 2011 at 9:10 PM

    snob

    ReplyDelete
  27. MottelMay 1, 2011 at 9:11 PM

    Who?

    ReplyDelete
  28. eMay 1, 2011 at 9:12 PM

    trs

    ReplyDelete
  29. MottelMay 1, 2011 at 9:22 PM

    agreed

    ReplyDelete
  30. Six it shall beMay 1, 2011 at 10:18 PM

    Snob! Who? The real shliach. Agreed.

    ReplyDelete
  31. eMay 1, 2011 at 10:26 PM

    When the real shliach is called a snob, it is a sad day indeed.

    ReplyDelete
  32. Just like a guyMay 1, 2011 at 10:37 PM

    yup

    ReplyDelete
  33. AnonymousMay 4, 2011 at 10:32 AM

    I Only laugh on the outside

    ReplyDelete
  34. AnonymousMay 4, 2011 at 10:33 AM

    Love at first sight. Never meet.

    ReplyDelete
  35. AnonymousMay 4, 2011 at 10:37 AM

    Unwanted Boy grows into Wanted man

    ReplyDelete
  36. AnonymousMay 4, 2011 at 12:29 PM

    survived concentration camps, killed by chocolate

    ReplyDelete
  37. AnonymousMay 4, 2011 at 12:30 PM

    survived cancer, run over by truck

    ReplyDelete
  38. AnonymousMay 4, 2011 at 12:31 PM

    escapes germany, no country accepts, returns

    ReplyDelete
  39. AnonymousMay 4, 2011 at 12:32 PM

    Waiting For Godot

    ReplyDelete
  40. AnonymousMay 4, 2011 at 12:32 PM

    Jewish History

    ReplyDelete
  41. eMay 4, 2011 at 7:01 PM

    Anon: Are you the same dolt who was posting those math "riddles" around a month ago?

    ReplyDelete
  42. AnonymousMay 5, 2011 at 12:09 AM

    ?

    ReplyDelete
  43. eMay 5, 2011 at 12:14 AM

    I guess you're not. You can read the other anon's antics at http://eholdsforth.blogspot.com/2011/03/mathematically-proven-fact-accelerate.html

    ReplyDelete
  44. AnonymousMay 5, 2011 at 3:46 PM

    nope thats me

    ReplyDelete
  45. Watch your words, anonMay 5, 2011 at 7:02 PM

    Reread what you wrote. Is it you, or is it not you?

    ReplyDelete
  46. AnonymousMay 5, 2011 at 10:57 PM

    Are you the one?

    ReplyDelete
  47. watch your words, anonMay 6, 2011 at 12:04 AM

    Of course not.

    ReplyDelete
  48. Watch your words, anonMay 6, 2011 at 10:25 AM

    But then again, I am.

    ReplyDelete
  49. watch your words, anonMay 6, 2011 at 11:52 AM

    As am I...

    ReplyDelete
  50. eMay 6, 2011 at 12:43 PM

    Oh Shut up and get of my blog!

    ReplyDelete
  51. eMay 6, 2011 at 12:52 PM

    but it aint me

    ReplyDelete
  52. eMay 6, 2011 at 7:34 PM

    Wow! The impersonators are really getting involved. Just note that http://www.blogger.com/profile/17882436174054578303 is not http://www.blogger.com/profile/04376537400767851942

    ReplyDelete
  53. eMay 6, 2011 at 7:35 PM

    To the impersonator: How did you get 230 profile views in less than six days?

    ReplyDelete
  54. AWMMay 11, 2011 at 1:29 PM

    are we gonna vote?

    ReplyDelete
  55. AwMMay 11, 2011 at 1:29 PM

    certainly a prize awaits me

    ReplyDelete
  56. eMay 12, 2011 at 12:45 AM

    Fine Let's vote. I vote for AwM's

    ReplyDelete
  57. AwMMay 12, 2011 at 11:29 AM

    I actually vote for first anon's "I still make coffee for two"

    it is very poignant, because it not only captures the reality of death, but also captures the sadness and emptiness of the survivor...
    Also, it punctuates the loneliness of the survivor. Only one left, yet clinging to the last, the second...

    ReplyDelete
  58. AwMMay 15, 2011 at 10:00 AM

    are we censoring me?

    ReplyDelete
  59. eMay 15, 2011 at 11:26 AM

    Why do you feel censored?

    Anyway, I just made a poll with (almost) all the contest entries. You are all invited to vote.

    ReplyDelete
  60. AwMMay 15, 2011 at 1:25 PM

    having looked into it, it seems the blogger service suffered a major crash recently, and with the crash some posts disappeared.

    apparently this affected my last comment here and your last comment...
    http://bit.ly/jlyd7Q

    ReplyDelete
  61. eMay 15, 2011 at 1:42 PM

    Oh well. so just for the record, I voted for "Baby shoes for sale, never worn," and AWM voted for "i still make coffee for two."

    ReplyDelete
  62. Just like a guyMay 15, 2011 at 7:08 PM

    AWM: You assumed too much- maybe the couple just broke up?

    ReplyDelete
  63. AwmMay 15, 2011 at 9:11 PM

    Trs: perhaps that's been daddee

    ReplyDelete
  64. AwmMay 15, 2011 at 9:14 PM

    Stupid autocorrect: perhaps that's even sadder

    ReplyDelete
  65. eMay 22, 2011 at 8:11 PM

    poll closed. anon won the contest.

    ReplyDelete
  66. bonneMay 22, 2011 at 8:43 PM

    sigh, this is what happens when I forget to subscribe.

    ReplyDelete
  67. AnonymousMay 29, 2011 at 7:56 PM

    Sad Jewish Girl blogs at http://unconsummated.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  68. AnonymousMay 31, 2011 at 10:32 AM

    Hey anon, stop stealing my show.

    http://shomernegiah.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete
  69. eMay 31, 2011 at 1:27 PM

    Anon II: You're story is very sad, but Anon I's is much more gripping. Sorry.

    ReplyDelete
  70. ShmullyJune 29, 2011 at 10:54 AM

    You're still blogging?!

    ReplyDelete
  71. eJune 29, 2011 at 1:38 PM

    Not really.

    ReplyDelete

Forth shall ye all hold.

Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)