Friday, January 22, 2010

Aaron's Arduous Amorous Adventures

Aaron (Moses' brother): Hey, Reuven! I heard that things aren't so hot between you and Shimon. Well, Shimon wants to make up.

Reuven: Yeah, yeah, we all know your trick, Aaron. Don't BS me.

A: No, I'm telling the truth this time. He really wants to make up.

R: What about the hundred dollars he owes me? Or when his cow gored my cow? Huh?

A: Well, he told me--

R: Don't bother with the explanations, Aaron. The truth is that I just don't value Shimon's friendship. He has lots of character traits which I don't appreciate. He watches too much TV. He eats greasy food. He asks his mother for advice when he should be making his own decisions. And his pants and shirts always clash.

A: Shimon's less-than-desirable character traits should not be the only criterion with which you decide how much to value his friendship.

R: Oh yeah? Then what criteria would you recommend, Mister I-love-peace-and-pursue-it?

A: Um, well. Friendship is about... uh... it's about getting to. Uh, How about we ask the blog community for help on this one?

Based on what do you decide whom you want to be your friend?

22 comments:

  1. Good question. To what does this line of reasoning tend?

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  2. It tends that Aaron Moses's brother (swe) was not as intelligent chalila as we make him out to be. See the e's hashkafa poll.

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  3. whoever keeps friending you on fb

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  4. Modeh: not quite. I'm actually interested in the question at the end. I wrote it up as a dialogue just for fun.

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  5. Russian answer: somebody you can rely upon in a difficult time.
    American answer: somebody with whom you can have a good time.

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  6. mrs. teichtal once told me:

    those who you've spent time with

    they are your friends

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  7. Ah, the real friends are harder to find.

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  8. in pirkei ovos it says "aquire for yourself friend." the great dennis prager is wont to say "date for friends as you would date for a marriage partner."

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  9. To date friends you don’t need to take a blood test.

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  10. A real friend wouldn't hesitate to post on a friend's blog just because it was shabos.

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  11. So now we have a bunch of definitions of who is a real friend:
    1. One on whom you can rely during rough times.
    2. One who is fun to have around.
    3. One with whom you spend time.
    4. One who comments on blogs on shabbos.

    I personally find that most of my friends are in category 3.

    Anon: I can think of only one guy who would post on shabbos. Are you who I think you are?

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  12. Arguing with MyselfJanuary 23, 2010 at 6:39 PM

    re: e

    Have you tried "1" yet?
    You probably only do "3" if "2."

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  13. the dialoge was funny too!January 23, 2010 at 11:29 PM

    Friends are people whose company you enjoy and whose opinions you value. Their rambelings and thoughts are interesting to you, you share intrests etc.

    Oh and they reciprocate these feeling towards you

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  14. I heard someone say today: “You don’t protect yourself with people whom you trust.” Now, the specific context of the discussion was neuro-syphilis, but I think the quote can be applied to a wider range of situations.

    With friends you are not afraid of being vulnerable. Of being yourself.

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  15. "A friend is someone in whose presence you can think aloud without worrying about being taken advantage of. A friend is someone who suffers with you when you are in pain and rejoices in your joy. A friend is someone who looks out for you, and always has your best interests in mind. In fact, a true friend is like an extension of yourself."

    The Rebbe then asked with a smile, "Now, how many friends like that do you have?"

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  16. The question isn't "what is a true friend?" The question is "which not-yet-friends are worth befriending?"

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  17. Those who you naturally gravitate to and you build a relationship with inevitably, not one you forced.

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  18. I prefer to befriend people when I feel that I have something to offer them.

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  19. I like people I can learn from. Unless they're idiots...

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  20. remember the words of the sages!January 26, 2010 at 12:07 AM

    "who is wise, he who learns from every man."

    So who's the idiot?

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  21. Arguing with MyselfJanuary 26, 2010 at 1:57 AM

    Re: remember the of the sages!
    notice sarabonne is not saying that she cannot learn from idiots, merely that she does not like 'em.

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  22. people that you find interesting are worth befriending. whether they prove to be true friends or not is a different question.
    if you want to talk about being a true friend, which the dialogue indicates you do, it is those people who cause you more good than harm.
    sounds selfish, but the idea is also that you are a good friend and cause them more good than harm as well.
    friends are not like family and they're not like spouses.
    (unless they're my friends, in which case the former generally applies. (actually, always. see spouses can be like friends, but friends cannot be like spouses. agree/disagree? lets take over the post and discuss that!))

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Forth shall ye all hold.