Monday, January 10, 2011

An Ode to California

A psalm by e
In California is my residence; I shall not want
I lounge in green parks; to calm beaches thy freeway leadeth me
My soul is refreshed in the weather for which thou hast acquired a great name
Ye, though I walk through Death Valley, I fear no evil, for it is dry heat
Thy celebrities and thy movie industry they entertain me
Prepare for me shade in the presence of the sun; anoint my head with sunscreen
Though in the "winter" thy gutters overflow
Surely sun and clement weather shall follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in California for long days

29 comments:

  1. California, esp. Los Angeles, is the single most shallow place in the world.

    ReplyDelete
  2. who needs depth when the weather is nice?

    ReplyDelete
  3. ...Oregon is still better. Our skies don't look like a backdrop for some 90s video game (clear and fresh vs. pink and smoggy).

    ReplyDelete
  4. ummm. In Oregon you see the sky? I though you only see clouds there.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Ok, they're clear and fresh 15 minutes a day during the rainy months and positively wonderful during the summer. It also smells really nice.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I dunno. The corner of LA I was in is not uglier than any part of Chicago or NYC I'm familiar with.

    And the weather!! you could die for it.

    ReplyDelete
  7. NY has excitement. NY has a downtown. Chicago has Lake Michigan and downtown. Have you seen LA's downtown? It's not worthy of the name.

    But yeah, the weather is nice.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Do you realize that this whole winter thing is optional? I'd always thought it was a law of nature.

    ReplyDelete
  9. OK. you have a point.

    But you know what? They build earthquake-proof buildings, so it's not so bad.

    ReplyDelete
  10. They build central heating. Besides, I like the winter, at least as it's practiced in the Midwest, where there is a shocking lack of fecal matter in the snow.

    ReplyDelete
  11. I feel the cold even in centrally heated buildings. And in CA they don't have continuous quaking for 4 months.

    I used to think like you do. But then I came back to Skokie, and sheesh, it's really cold here! there's nothing honorable about being cold.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Just try CA in the summer. I suppose that's why there are snowbirds.

    Who said anything about honor?

    ReplyDelete
  13. OH! I was there in the summer. I used to laugh at Californians talking about "dry heat," but now I'm a believer. Dry heat really is different. I was there during a heat wave, and we barely used air conditioning. A little shade, and life's good.

    I said something about honor (or the lack thereof).

    ReplyDelete
  14. Oregon doesn't get so humid either, and instead of snow we have awesome ice storms.

    ReplyDelete
  15. It rains all the time, but it's not humid?

    Yay! Ice storms sound just awesome.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Well my memory is subjective but no, not really. And in the summers there isn't any rain or humidity.
    Ice storms ARE awesome, you can break of pieces of ice from a bush and you have a leaf imprinted slice of ice.

    ReplyDelete
  17. AwM: I just hate LA

    ReplyDelete
  18. Maybe it's cold and humid and you think that it's pleasantly warm?

    And what if you're outside during the ice storm?

    ReplyDelete
  19. No, I hate humidity so I think I would remember it more distinctly.
    If your caught outside in an ice storm you sing, much like you would in the rain.

    ReplyDelete
  20. They also make tornado shelters in kansas and weather proof houses in chicago - doesn't make either less of a problem. Have you ever even lived through an earth quake before? (A real one like 6 or above?)

    While in LA check out venice beach for its weirdos, Runyan canyon is a cute hike on the hollywood hills, the magic castle has fun shows, as are Comedy Sportz (google it), Yamashiro the Japanese restaurant above magic castle has an amazing view of the city at night (or day) -as seen on a picture of the week on my blog- the top of the grove's parking lot also offers an amazing view (thee grove itself is too touristy to be worth even its disneyland like feel. Fish grill is an awesome restaurant -the one in malibu ies great for taking food to the beach. Universal studios isn't bad -if you take advantage of their offers, getting a season pass can be very cheap and ies worth going be back oncef our twice as a fun afternoon trip.

    If you can take a longer trip, check out huntington and disconse (sp?) Gardens. Oxnard actually has a really nice beach.
    The sad truth is that los angeles is utterly devoid of personality, humanity, architecture and history.


    The rosh is awesome - send him my love.

    I you go to bevmo on s. Monica and ask donny to recommend something from the west coast for me and bring said beer back for me - I'd be much obliged. If you find a bottle of Pliny the Elder to bring back, I'd gladly tip you for the service as well.

    ReplyDelete
  21. I did actually go to YamashiroJanuary 11, 2011 at 12:30 AM

    blah blah blah. Bottom line: good weather.

    ReplyDelete
  22. I'm confused by this new e and his strange names. What did you think of yamashiro? What of the other things?

    I'm starting to understand how empirically you view the world . . .

    ReplyDelete
  23. This dude I know took me to yamashiro on the back of his motorcycle, so I had the moral obligation to "ahh" and "ooh." I suppose I would have ahhed and oohed otherwise, but one can't be sure.

    So how do I empirically see the world? Cuz I wold like to know

    ReplyDelete
  24. You moved to Cali???

    Wow I feel out of it.

    Good choice, bro. Nice place.

    ReplyDelete
  25. I didn't move there. I was there for two weeks visiting my sister and her family.

    ReplyDelete

Forth shall ye all hold.