Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Ode to Midwestern Snow

Here I sit
Watching the snow lazily float
Towards the ground
Outside my Midwestern abode

Like the snowflakes
The cars slowly float to their destinations
respectively, of course
And I am shocked
By the lack of fecal matter

It's nice to visit the Midwest
And have a taste of winter
But not for too long

39 comments:

  1. AWM: at this present moment all states (-florida) has got snow on the ground. (hawaii, too?

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  2. That's the problem with NY- you can't enjoy the snow.

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  3. True. Weather-wise, NYC is pretty damn bad.

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  4. Too bad the Friediker Rebbe didn't end up in Sheboygan, eh?

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  5. AWM: oh yeah, hawaii, too.

    http://www.hawaiinewsnow.com/Global/story.asp?S=13826342

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  6. Chicago is the only city to have its name in the title of a kuntres!!!January 11, 2011 at 9:43 PM

    Or Chicago

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  7. Discussing the weather seems to be all the rage these blogger days.

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  8. Well, I've been having lots of contrast.

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  9. If 770 was in Illinois, would there still be Kens?

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  10. AWM: yeah, but outlawed like basils.

    the real q is would there be bnei reuven (obviously beis moshiach would stick around)

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  11. Anon: Instead of clicking "anonymous," why not click "Name/URL" and write "AWM"?

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  12. There would still be Ken's because Lubavitch would be isolated on the West Side.

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  13. Cuz that's where the Jews were in the 40's, the same way Chabad in NYC is all alone in what was the jewish neighborhood in the 40's.

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  14. Oh, I wonder if there would be the same versions of crazies too.

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  15. hmmm. Not necessarily. I think in NYC you have more random people floating around.

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  16. e: good idea.

    also, you didnt spend enough time in west rogers park, there are plenny of crazies. ariel/the pinchie man/the molester

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  17. The Chicago crazies are kind of constant. But in New York people can come and go. Many more people pass through New York than Chicago.

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  18. Kol HaKavod LHaRav Assman

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  19. technically it's idi vzhopu.

    I was going to write an Ode to Zhopa, but can't think of one.

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  20. Actually, it's "idi v zhopa."

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  21. True. Either way, zollen zey alle essen unzer drek.

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  22. the fefer is too good for them

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  23. Aha. And which of the denizens of Chebotarskaya are you?

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  24. In the hollows of my zhopa
    There my drek so travels
    On a ferry to Europa
    Rush to exit my navel

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  25. Anon: Do you know what a navel is? I sure hope drek isn't exiting through there.
    Are you Chebotarskaya? As far I as I know, all of the Chebotarskayans should have been observing shabbos when you left that comment.

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  26. Ode To Zhopa

    In the hollows of my zhopa
    There my drek so travels.
    On a ferry to Europa
    Hear my stool unravel.

    Winds they rush to exit zhopa
    Forward, rumble, tumble.
    Over forests of Europa
    We shall rough and rumble.

    Don't despair, o wretched masses
    The exit is near.
    Pressure on, don't mind the lashes
    We shall have no fear!

    Those who dwell in darkened lanes
    Soon shall see the light;
    We shall leave here no remains
    Of our wretched plight!

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  27. semnatzat, shva-esrei, seventeen

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  28. Whatever. But seriously, how do you like my poetry? Mind you, I think that it's pure
    genius. But, being something of a poet
    yourself, and, as it seems, with a few
    shared interests, I would not object to
    constructive criticism.

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  29. destructive criticismMay 10, 2011 at 11:29 PM

    Do you want my honest
    opinion? It sucks
    balls. It really does.

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  30. Sucks balls means "very good", yes?
    Well, I thought this was great stuff,
    but wasn't sure just how good. Thank
    you!

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  31. Here I sit
    Having my balls sucked lazily with my zhopa
    Towards the ground
    Outside my Midwestern abode

    Like my balls
    The cars are slowly sucked to their destinations
    And I am shocked
    By how good it feels

    It's nice to get your balls sucked
    In the cold air of winter
    But not for too long

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  32. So I'm learning about this mysterious anon that he doesn't mind being vulgar and that he is either non-sabbath-observant, or lives very far west.

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Forth shall ye all hold.