Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Ode to Midwestern Snow

Here I sit
Watching the snow lazily float
Towards the ground
Outside my Midwestern abode

Like the snowflakes
The cars slowly float to their destinations
respectively, of course
And I am shocked
By the lack of fecal matter

It's nice to visit the Midwest
And have a taste of winter
But not for too long
Posted by at

38 comments:

  1. AnonymousJanuary 11, 2011 at 8:57 PM

    AWM: at this present moment all states (-florida) has got snow on the ground. (hawaii, too?

    ReplyDelete
  2. Just like a guyJanuary 11, 2011 at 9:33 PM

    That's the problem with NY- you can't enjoy the snow.

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  3. eJanuary 11, 2011 at 9:34 PM

    True. Weather-wise, NYC is pretty damn bad.

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  4. Just like a guyJanuary 11, 2011 at 9:36 PM

    Too bad the Friediker Rebbe didn't end up in Sheboygan, eh?

    ReplyDelete
  5. AnonymousJanuary 11, 2011 at 9:43 PM

    AWM: oh yeah, hawaii, too.

    http://www.hawaiinewsnow.com/Global/story.asp?S=13826342

    ReplyDelete
  6. Chicago is the only city to have its name in the title of a kuntres!!!January 11, 2011 at 9:43 PM

    Or Chicago

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  7. bonneJanuary 11, 2011 at 9:50 PM

    Discussing the weather seems to be all the rage these blogger days.

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  8. eJanuary 11, 2011 at 10:03 PM

    Well, I've been having lots of contrast.

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  9. Just like a guyJanuary 11, 2011 at 10:33 PM

    If 770 was in Illinois, would there still be Kens?

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  10. AnonymousJanuary 11, 2011 at 11:02 PM

    AWM: yeah, but outlawed like basils.

    the real q is would there be bnei reuven (obviously beis moshiach would stick around)

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  11. eJanuary 11, 2011 at 11:04 PM

    Anon: Instead of clicking "anonymous," why not click "Name/URL" and write "AWM"?

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  12. eJanuary 11, 2011 at 11:05 PM

    There would still be Ken's because Lubavitch would be isolated on the West Side.

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  13. bonneJanuary 12, 2011 at 12:06 AM

    Why only the West side?

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  14. eJanuary 12, 2011 at 12:19 AM

    Cuz that's where the Jews were in the 40's, the same way Chabad in NYC is all alone in what was the jewish neighborhood in the 40's.

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  15. bonneJanuary 12, 2011 at 12:22 AM

    Oh, I wonder if there would be the same versions of crazies too.

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  16. eJanuary 12, 2011 at 12:43 AM

    hmmm. Not necessarily. I think in NYC you have more random people floating around.

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  17. awmJanuary 12, 2011 at 3:21 PM

    e: good idea.

    also, you didnt spend enough time in west rogers park, there are plenny of crazies. ariel/the pinchie man/the molester

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  18. eJanuary 12, 2011 at 4:20 PM

    The Chicago crazies are kind of constant. But in New York people can come and go. Many more people pass through New York than Chicago.

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  19. ChebotarskayaJanuary 24, 2011 at 12:13 AM

    Kol HaKavod LHaRav Assman

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  20. eJanuary 24, 2011 at 12:16 AM

    idiv zhopu

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  21. ChebotarskayaJanuary 24, 2011 at 8:11 AM

    technically it's idi vzhopu.

    I was going to write an Ode to Zhopa, but can't think of one.

    ReplyDelete
  22. eJanuary 24, 2011 at 1:29 PM

    Actually, it's "idi v zhopa."

    ReplyDelete
  23. ChebotarskayaJanuary 30, 2011 at 2:29 AM

    True. Either way, zollen zey alle essen unzer drek.

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  24. eJanuary 30, 2011 at 11:54 AM

    un fefer, avada.

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  25. eJanuary 30, 2011 at 11:55 AM

    that's אן, not און.

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  26. ChebotarskayaJanuary 30, 2011 at 10:33 PM

    the fefer is too good for them

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  27. eJanuary 31, 2011 at 6:30 PM

    Aha. And which of the denizens of Chebotarskaya are you?

    ReplyDelete
  28. AnonymousMay 7, 2011 at 1:56 AM

    In the hollows of my zhopa
    There my drek so travels
    On a ferry to Europa
    Rush to exit my navel

    ReplyDelete
  29. eMay 7, 2011 at 12:13 PM

    Anon: Do you know what a navel is? I sure hope drek isn't exiting through there.
    Are you Chebotarskaya? As far I as I know, all of the Chebotarskayans should have been observing shabbos when you left that comment.

    ReplyDelete
  30. AnonymousMay 8, 2011 at 2:30 PM

    Ode To Zhopa

    In the hollows of my zhopa
    There my drek so travels.
    On a ferry to Europa
    Hear my stool unravel.

    Winds they rush to exit zhopa
    Forward, rumble, tumble.
    Over forests of Europa
    We shall rough and rumble.

    Don't despair, o wretched masses
    The exit is near.
    Pressure on, don't mind the lashes
    We shall have no fear!

    Those who dwell in darkened lanes
    Soon shall see the light;
    We shall leave here no remains
    Of our wretched plight!

    ReplyDelete
  31. eMay 8, 2011 at 4:52 PM

    are you chebotarskaya?

    ReplyDelete
  32. AnonymousMay 9, 2011 at 11:33 PM

    chetobo chto?

    ReplyDelete
  33. eMay 10, 2011 at 12:03 AM

    semnatzat, shva-esrei, seventeen

    ReplyDelete
  34. AnonymousMay 10, 2011 at 8:39 PM

    Whatever. But seriously, how do you like my poetry? Mind you, I think that it's pure
    genius. But, being something of a poet
    yourself, and, as it seems, with a few
    shared interests, I would not object to
    constructive criticism.

    ReplyDelete
  35. AnonymousMay 11, 2011 at 11:35 PM

    Sucks balls means "very good", yes?
    Well, I thought this was great stuff,
    but wasn't sure just how good. Thank
    you!

    ReplyDelete
  36. bonneMay 11, 2011 at 11:39 PM

    This anon is kinda funny.

    ReplyDelete
  37. AnonymousMay 13, 2011 at 11:38 PM

    Here I sit
    Having my balls sucked lazily with my zhopa
    Towards the ground
    Outside my Midwestern abode

    Like my balls
    The cars are slowly sucked to their destinations
    And I am shocked
    By how good it feels

    It's nice to get your balls sucked
    In the cold air of winter
    But not for too long

    ReplyDelete
  38. eMay 14, 2011 at 11:01 AM

    So I'm learning about this mysterious anon that he doesn't mind being vulgar and that he is either non-sabbath-observant, or lives very far west.

    ReplyDelete

Forth shall ye all hold.

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