A couple weeks ago, TRS asked me to take the Rebbe's kopote to Milwaukee for him. The day before the wedding, I was a bit concerned that TRS hadn't mentioned the kapote to me when he saw me over Shabbos, but I figured that he had enough on his mind as it is, so I didn't call to confirm that he still wanted my services. I called Yisroel Shemtov and asked to arrange to take the kapote. As is his wont, he asked to meet me before forking over the kapote.
I met him in his shop and he continued the discussion exactly where we left it off at the TRS-le7 l'chaim, with the scintillating topic of my beard or lack thereof. This quickly segued into a discussion of my general lack of scruples, and a mutual outpouring of hearts.
While we were pouring out our hearts to each other, I happened to learn some of Rabbi Shemtov's kapote-related rules:
A member of the wedding party cannot take the kapote, as he'll be too busy with other stuff to worry about the kapote.
The bochur who takes the kapote must go to mikveh beforehand.
Nobody is allowed to touch the kapote besides for the bochur to whom it was given. The bochur puts it on the chosson before the chuppah and takes it off after the chuppah. The rest of the time, the kapote sits in the trunk of a car to which only the bochur has the keys.
There are a bunch of other rules, but here's the most important one: if you lose the kapote, you owe Yisroel Shemtov $50,000. There's some impoverished Jew who owns another one of the Rebbe's kaptoes, and he's willing to sell it for $50,000. So if you lose Yisroel's, he wants you to give him money to get a replacement.
It goes without saying that among the rules is the requirement that the kapote carrier be a scrupulous, G-d-fearing young man, which I plainly told Reb Yisroel that I am not. For reasons I shan't disclose in public, he decided to give me the kapote anyways, with the condition that I engage in certain scrupulous behaviors this coming weekend.
He only gives the bochur to kapote on the way to the airport, so we made up to meet at his house at 3:20, when he would give me the keys to the mikveh near his house, I would dunk, get the kapote, and hop off to the airport.
It was an interesting conversation, and I was rather excited about the whole business. I hopped over to my sister's house to do some laundry, borrowed my sister's laptop to check the car-rental prices in Milwaukee, and was settling down to check my email, when I saw the following line at the end of an email from TRS:
Also, don't worry about the kapote from shemtov, because I'm not getting it.
Cheers!
I called TRS, and he basically said that he wasn't getting the kapote because it was just too expensive. Yisroel charges $100, plus he'd need to pay for me to rent a car to keep the kapote safe in. And with all the bajillions of other expenses, he just can't afford it.
I said, "Oh well. At least I had an interesting chit-chat with the rabbi. N'nu." In truth, I was a tad pissed. It's no big deal when poverty keeps you from buying sushi or taking a taxi. But wearing the Rebbe's kapote is a big deal. It's horrible that somebody should miss out just because he's a hundred dollars short.
But... The story gets more interesting and cheerful. Stay tuned for tomorrow's installment.
I like the part about him questioning your lack of scruples, and making you do something about it. Can't wait for the next part.
ReplyDeleteyes. very entertaining. I hope trs gets in in the end.
ReplyDeleteyou're it.
ReplyDeleteWill IYH read this another time... I'm sure its good though.
this is way better then tv....
ReplyDeleteSo what happens in the end is that TRS gets the Rebbe's tie for $26, right?? Or maybe he wins the lottery and buys the $50,000 kapotah from the impoverished fellow?
ReplyDeleteoh, oh, maybe Yisroel Shemtov gives TRS the kapatoh as a wedding present and buys the $50,000 replacement for himself?
ReplyDeleteDovid- 3rd guess is a charm.
ReplyDeleteYa I figured it out after I read the title again. That's the only logical conclusion.
ReplyDeleteThat he bought the $50,000 kappatah? I doubt it.
ReplyDeleteWho knows? Maybe E is a hidden tzaddik, and he payed the 100$ himself.
btw C, I think you're setting a double standard here:
ReplyDeleteYossi says a snag joke and he gets lampooned, e calls shriki a snag and gets away with it... what's up with that?
Altie if you were right, the title to this post would be "e has a big heart"
ReplyDeleteand e is always very percise with the language of his dibur hamaschil
ReplyDeleteHey, you may have something there. Why didn't I think of that?
ReplyDeleteHmm, ok, now I really wanna know the end to this story.
Oh my G-d, that dude and his kapota again?! ..though the truth is, seeing that video, compared to your brother you really 'frei-ed out'!
ReplyDeleteOh look, it links to me : D! Thanks man! (Though the truth is I'm not much less critical of the 'mitnagdim' either..)
ReplyDeleteDovid+Altie: In the end Yisroel Shemtov rescues TRS, with the help of some surprising allies.
ReplyDeleteShriki: A sefardi dude once tried telling me that he's not a snag because he's sefardi. But we don't go for such subtle distinctions. All frum Jews are either Lubavitchers, Poilshers/Hunkies, MO, or snags.
Well in that case you guys are more MO than Lubavitch. ..and I'm more Polish/MO!
ReplyDelete..and what's a 'Hunkie'? I'm guessing Hungarian (either way it's a funny word).
dovid, thanks for bringing to light this awful double standard C is applying to me, and e...
ReplyDeleteNP. Anyways, I wouldn't consider Shriki a "snag among us", better just "among us". If he's a snag, lo shavik mar chai lechol biryah.
ReplyDeleteDovid and Yossi, shall I even respond? Did you not see my comments that I did not yet read the above post???
ReplyDeleteJust read it. Might have commented before, but now I think you guys did all the commenting necessary... and then some. :)
Ya ya, suuure, "didn't read the post", uh huh, right. You expect me to believe that? You couldn't come up with anything better?
ReplyDeleteBaloney! (or is it bologna?) Let the record show that you called this post "good" at 1:15am on September the 17th 2009.
I quote:
ReplyDelete"Will IYH read this another time... I'm sure its good though."
I was tagging him... did not read the post.. was waay too tired to process words. Am now too, but not as bad.
Dovid: “If he's a snag, lo shavik mar chai lechol biryah”- What’s that supposed to mean? “If Shriki’s not a chasid than no one is”? Well, ..there ‘is’ the ‘chasidut’ of the messilat yesharim...
ReplyDelete(And: I’m seeing the profile icons for the first time... ..mine doesn’t look quite right does it..)
C, you tagged me? Altie did too. Anyhow, now both installments are up, you can read the whole saga.
ReplyDeleteLubavitchers don't even know hunkies exist. TRS once called Yoel Teitlebaum (who in honor of Rosh Hashana is not getting cursed out) Polish.
ReplyDeleteYour either chabad or snag. CA is nice and says you can be yekke or sefardi as well. It comes from not talking to other observant Jews very much.
true that. When we were little we used to call all hasids "yolis" which is even more inaccurate.
ReplyDeleteDOn't worry, snags do that too, and they don't even count lubavitch as chasidish.
ReplyDeleteThe Hasids don't either consider us chasidim. The only one who consider us chassidim are we ourselves and the non-religious who don't know better.
ReplyDelete